Women Speaking in the Church

College is a time where you are surrounded by various strong opinions, and because I am such an un-opinionated person (and when I do have opinions, I don't have much grounds as to why I have them), I've been forced to confront some issues and learn how to defend the things I believe.

The most recent issue has been women's rights in the church. I never thought much on women speaking in the church. I knew I wasn't very comfortable with the idea of a female pastor, or even sometimes a female worship leader. Maybe it was the way I was raised, or the church environment I grew up in, but something in me feels more led, protected and comforted when a man has those positions. But for women to not be allowed to teach in a college ministry -- that is something I have begun to challenge.

Having a Jesus-loving feminist for a roommate -- who also loves the occasional rant about this very topic from time to time -- has made me think more about why women should or should not speak in the church.

"When I came to college, I started getting involved in ministries where I realized it wasn't assumed that women could and would speak and teach," said my roommate Rachel Hemperly, a junior at CSU. "I grew up with a very strong mother who isn't necessarily gifted in speaking and teaching; but my parents always told me that God can use me, and if there's something I can do through Him, I should do it. So it made me sad when I realized not everyone thought the same thing."

Before we go any further, I want to look at the specific passages in Scripture that are controversial to this topic:

"A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve."

(1 Timothy 2:11-13)

"As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."

(1 Corinthians 14:33b-35)

These verses used to always throw me off when it came to this issue; some people would say that women should indeed be able to speak in church, but I didn't understand how if these verses were in the Bible. Some would simply say those verses are outdated and don't apply to our modern society; but then, couldn't you say that about any verse in the Bible you didn't want to abide by?

I visited Intervarsity, another campus Christian ministry, about a month ago because my friend, Taylor Webster, a senior at CSU, was playing the banjo in worship (so awesome) and speaking that night. It was so refreshing to hear a woman teach, because you never hear a woman teach both genders in the college ministry I'm involved in -- unless she is accompanied by her husband.

But Taylor spoke with diligence, she was funny, she was relatable and relevant, and she spoke with the Holy Spirit. Both men and women enjoyed her speaking that night, and both men and women learned from her.

Afterward, as they were cleaning up, one of my friends I went with asked Julie Butler, one of the Intervarsity staff, what the biblical basis was for women speaking/teaching. Her response was the most sensible and grounded explanation I've heard on this topic.

Julie referred to one of the previously quoted Scripture, 1 Timothy 2:11-13. This verse is often taken out of context, she said. If we look back to what Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:3-7, we see that he urges Timothy to "command certain men not to teach false doctrines any longer nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies... They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm" (vs. 3b-4, 7).

Julie went on to explain that Paul is reprimanding everyone who tries to teach the law but doesn't speak truth because they haven't studied the Word diligently. As James 3:1 says, those who teach will be judged more strictly, their words tested against the Bible.

"As a woman who has had the privilege of preaching to my entire campus ministry, I can say that it is no easier for a woman to speak than it is for a man," Taylor said. "Preaching requires careful study, diligent preparation, and a constant listening ear to the heart of God for his people. Teachers are held to a higher standard, and the responsibility of teaching should not be accepted lightly."

Therefore, Paul is referring to both men and women in 1 Timothy 1:3-7. Because if we think about the culture of that time, women did not have access to the Scriptures. As Taylor said, "They were illiterate, uneducated and incapable of studying and teaching."

So in 1 Timothy 2:11-13 when Paul says that he forbids women from teaching or having authority over men, Julie said he is referring to the women of that time who would stand up in church and talk back to the men in authority, using unfounded arguments that didn't hold truth because, the fact of the matter was, they didn't know truth -- they couldn't unless the men taught them.

Makes sense to me. To conclude, I can't put it any better than Taylor did when I asked her about this topic. I know the proper thing to do is shorter her quote to a couple sentences, but everything she said has such value that I can't bear to leave so much of it out! Please read, and spend some time doing your own research so you can have a better-rounded opinion on this issue:

"The principle that closes our hearts to woman ministers is the same logic that closes our ears to ministers of different races, denominations, cultural and economic backgrounds, ages, and political affiliations. We fear that because the other is not exactly like us, we will not connect with their message. Their message may challenge our assumptions, make us uncomfortable, give voice to a population we have marginalized or ignored, or speak a truth we have not yet accepted into our own paradigm. 

"And to those fears, I say yes, encounters with those who are different are scary and difficult. But isn’t that exactly what our relationship with God is? An encounter with a being who is so different from ourselves that we have to intentionally seek his voice in order to understand Him? So, shouldn’t we be seeking to hear His voice, the messages and blessings he has given us through His people, from as many different and diverse sources as possible? 

"For God does not only speak through man. He does not only speak through clean-cut white American men. He speaks through all of His children. And all of His children are called to listen. Who are we to say that the revelations He has given are not worth hearing? What we must remember is that preaching is not about hearing the voice of man or woman, black or white or Latino, poor or rich, obscure or famous. It is about hearing the voice of God for his people... It takes both [men and women] to give a complete picture of God’s kingdom."

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We Are The Clay, You Are The Potter

"Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. 

We are the clay, you are the potter, 

we are all the work of your hand."

(Isaiah 64:8)

This concept of the potter and the clay being a picture of our relationship to God has been on my mind the past couple weeks. I grew up knowing this illustration -- singing about it in church, learning about it in Sunday School, and seeing stacks of artwork of it. Honestly, I heard about it so much that I grew annoyed with it. I always heard it in relation to the main message of Psalm 139, about being beautifully and wonderfully made in God's image. But I'm starting to see that being the clay in the potter's hand is not all about beauty being formed -- it's pain, too.

I've been doing a Bible study with a group of girls this semester called "Identity: Becoming Who God Says I Am." Yes, it has a cliche title. Yes, it has extremely cheesy pictures inside that make me feel like a high schooler again. But there is depth in this study where you want it to be, and it gives you elbow room to meet God where you need to meet Him at the time. 

Chapter one focused on God's essence and what's good about Him. Chapter two focused on what's positive about us. Amidst the lists of what's wrong about us -- our weaknesses, insecurities, struggles -- and what's good about us -- our strengths, abilities, roles -- we explored what it means to be defined by God and nothing else, what it means to be on the potter's wheel in the hands of our Maker.


It's Pain

My dear friend, Hannah Meier, a sophomore at CSU, took a pottery class once. With that experience, she described the relationship of the potter and the clay in this way:

"You have to stick your thumb down in the middle of the clay to make a hole, but the clay doesn't know that -- it just knows that it's wet, and it hurts. But the hole becomes the essence... a pot without a hole is just a lump of clay."

There are tough situations in our lives where we don't understand what's going on, why God allows us to experience such pain. But those are the times where God is growing us, forming us from this lump of clay into the man or woman He desires us to be.


It's Humility

Acknowledging that we are mere clay in His hands is not just pain; it's also humbling.

“Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, 

to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. 

Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ 

Does your work say, ‘He has no hands’?  

Woe to him who says to his father, ‘What have you begotten?’ 

or to his mother, ‘What have you brought to birth?’ 

--Isaiah 45:9-10

"There's definitely a sense of humility knowing that the control is in someone else's hands," said Jenny Jessup, a junior at CSU. "And yet, the control is trustworthy. It's solid. He knows the final product, and it's good. There's humility because you can't control your life that way, you can't control how you look or how you're seen by people. You were made perfect in the way He made you.

"I think that sense of control gives you a sense of peace just knowing that you don't have to be in control of your life and you don't have to fear as well 'cause the potter has everything under control."

It's Beauty

This concept of the potter and the clay was revisited this past week as chapter six talked about our new identity in Christ, who God says we are, and how the different relationships we have with Him define us, such as shepherd and sheep, father and child, potter and clay.

Pots can have a variety of purposes -- they can hold plants, carry water, store things, decorate a house, be put on display, serve as a canvas for further artistic expression... These uses can be summarized into two purposes: use and beauty.

As God forms us into the man or woman He imagined us to be, He gives us purpose -- He makes us useful to Him, and He makes us oh-so-beautiful.


Our Role as the Clay, and the Potter's Sovereignty

A lot of people miss the point of this relationship. As my friend Shannon Ludington, a senior at CSU, said, "It's one of those metaphors where people say, 'Oh, God is molding you, so you don't have to do anything about it; you can just sit there and let God shape you.'"

I agree. It has become an overused metaphor that has seemingly lost its depth and application in our lives. But putting together these aspects of pain, humility and beauty, I'm beginning to see that being the clay in the potter's hands involves a two-way relationship.

"[The potter's] hands have to be firm," Hannah explained during Bible study at the beginning of this semester. "At first [he has] to be kind of violent with the clay, making it do whatever [he wants] it to do. And then, sometimes [he's] more gentle and let[s] the clay come to [his] hands, and [he works] with that."

There's a response involved when we as the clay choose to come to His hands. We are not without choice; we can be stubborn and choose to refuse His artful hands. But as Isaiah 45:9 says, who are we to say to Him he does not know what He is doing?

As the clay in the hands of the Potter, we have the responsibility to move toward His hands, embrace the pain, take on humility, and watch as beauty is formed in us.

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The Reality of Discipleship

Friday was the last Nav Night of the semester, and that means it was also the last Nav Night, period, for some of our graduating class as we celebrated Senior Night. After some worship, Jim Rinella asked the graduating seniors to come down to the front of the room and tell the rest of the students what's next for them. He said this was probably the largest senior class they have had in years as 24 seniors shared their post-graduate plans. Some students had plans set in stone (well, as set in stone as you can make them when God is sovereign over man's plans), and some had several ideas of what they could be doing next, ranging from short-term to long-term, this upcoming summer to a few years down the road.

When the last senior in line shared, the junior class was called down to pray over the seniors and send them off. As one of those seniors this semester, I can tell you it's a clash of emotions -- of deep heartbreak and incredible encouragement all at once -- as you stand embraced by the people you have poured your life into, the people you have walked so closely beside, and developed such strong bonds with.

When I was a freshman, I felt strange, thinking I should feel sad, and trying to force tears in some capacity, but not being able to because I simply had no attachment to these people leaving. As a sophomore, I remember not understanding these bonds but feeling something stir inside me, knowing I would be up there praying over the seniors the following year.

Once you're called down to the front of the room as a junior or senior, you understand. I knew what discipleship was, and I had been both the discipler and disciple over the years, but it wasn't until I prayed over the people who so impacted me and had the people I had impacted pray over me that my heart knew and understood discipleship was real. It wasn't until I was standing at the front, as we were sharing what we thought the future might hold, that I looked into the faces of the people I had invested my life into, who meant so much to me, and whom I knew I had encouraged to some extent that I honestly believed this discipleship thing works. It's real. It's powerful. It's God-honoring. And it is oh-so-fulfilling.

Congrats to all the graduating seniors as you move on to new pastures as the Good Shepherd leads! Here's some good soul food for the road. And to those who have the privilege of remaining in this pasture of college life a little while longer -- chase the opportunities God gives you, embrace the people around you, and abide in His love always.

Photo Courtesy of Jeanne Miller

Lessons on Compliments and Insults

"I don't know how to relate to guys. For some reason, I always tend to insult them."
"But you talked to guys tonight! You can talk to them."
"Didn't you hear everything I said to them tonight? [Example] and [example.] When I talk to boys, I only insult them!"
"Ohh."

That was the beginning of a conversation I had with my roommate Jenny the other night, and while we laughed at first, this has been a topic on my mind for, well, a lot of my life, but it has been on the forefront of my mind most recently this past week. It's difficult for me to talk to guys, so when I do, I tend to joke and insult them. And I probably feel at my lowest afterward when I am by myself, and I realize what a rampant, obnoxious monster my mouth is.

I can't say I know why I do this. I've had a few ideas, such as my lack of common interests with the opposite sex. Like many girls, I've grown up around boys who constantly joke and insult one another, so I figured that was the only way I could carry conversation with them -- if I also joked and insulted them.

Another idea is that they typically laugh when I insult them, and it's one of the few times I feel like I might be a little entertaining, a little funny. So I continue to do it, because I want attention, as much as I hate admitting that.

Now, let's venture to the other side: compliments. If a guy gives me a compliment, I don't trust it. I automatically assume he is forcing himself to give me one, that he doesn't mean it because I don't think I'm good enough to be complimented, or that he is belittling me in some way...

Man musters words/courage/time/whatever to compliment woman; woman questions man; man feels disrespected and unappreciated; woman feels toyed with and insecure; man stops complimenting...

...And we as women ask why men don't compliment us more?

I'm really bad at complimenting people. I feel cheesy when I do it. I feel as if my compliment has no impact on them because it's something they hear all the time. And I don't know what it is, but the biggest thing that keeps me from complimenting people is my fear that if I do, they're going to think, "Who are you to compliment me? Of course I'm good! I'm better than you. Who are you to speak?"

Let's take a moment to process how extremely ridiculous that thinking is.

But seriously. This clicked in my mind when I was in worship band practice yesterday. I don't know if other vocalists have ever felt this way, but I have an extreme inferiority complex when it comes to singing in bands. I've sung in worship bands since I was 10, but I've never understood music theory, how to set up the equipment, the technical musical lingo, etc. Everyone else uses an instrument, and I just have my voice. I've always felt like I have nothing to contribute, that my input doesn't matter, and that everyone else is basically so much better than I am. Not to mention that I'm normally the only girl on the band, and as you read above, I'm terrible at talking to guys -- so really, you know this is going to be a disaster.

So after a practice or performance, I always debate whether I should compliment the other band members (the guys) or not. Sometimes I do, but I feel awkward doing so. Why? Because I truly believe that when I compliment them, they're thinking, "Duh, I know I'm good. I've been playing this instrument all my life. I could do this in my sleep. This is nothing new to me." And I never think they're thinking this in an egotistical way; I'm just having this whole thought process because I feel inferior. And because I feel inferior and I care too much what people are going to think about me, I hold my tongue and I miss opportunity upon opportunity to encourage someone else.

My own insecurities and low self-esteem are in fact the cause and effect of my own pride and self-centeredness.

I know this post was a bit scattered, but those are personal observations I have made over the past week, and I know (well, I hope) I'm not the only who can see this in her or himself. So, lesson? These are all lies Satan feeds us, to keep us from relating to people, from encouraging each other, from trusting each other. Don't believe a word he says. Instead, if someone insults you, don't respond with an insult. If someone compliments you, believe them and simply say, "Thank you!" When you see someone, note the positive things and compliment them. This is an area in our relationships that a lot of us need to work on!

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What is Beauty?

"Sexuality and spirituality are the bookends of a woman's soul."

Those were the words of Paula Rinehart, author of several books including Sex and the Soul of a Woman, as she spoke at the first-ever Navigators Rocky Mountain Region Women's Conference. So much wisdom was squeezed into this 24-hour retreat, titled "Beauty, the Body, and Belonging to Christ." But the "Beauty" session is what stood out to me the most.

Splendor and majesty are before Him, strength and beauty are in His sanctuary. --Psalm 96:6

God is strength, and He is beauty. As mankind was made in His image, He has created two separate sexes -- men to embody His strength, and women to embody His beauty.

But what does the beauty of women look like in tangible terms? Surely it doesn't mean physical beauty alone, because we come in some many different forms and shapes, in the same way men do. What makes women so different, so beautiful?

I don't know the answer to this. But I knew women possessed something special when I heard our voices alone, lifted in praise to God as we worshipped this past weekend -- something about female voices, loud, clear and in harmony. It's not nearly as beautiful as when men sing along.

Maybe he was just doing what is expected of him, but when a man held the door open for me this morning, warm smile in place, he made me feel like I possessed something special. I believe there is something about a woman that causes the average man to wait a few more seconds to hold the door open for her.

As I was biking on campus today, I started on the sidewalk in order to get to the road. A girl was walking the opposite direction, making slight eye contact with me, so timid, faint smile, stepping left and right, trying to figure out which side I was going to take and doing her best to accommodate me. She wasn't too pretty, at least not by "the world's" eyes. But something in my heart stirred toward her, and I knew she too possessed this something special. I knew there was something beautiful about her.

beauty noun -- The quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.

Beauty makes us feel something, stirs our hearts in deeper ways, fills us with longing to somehow connect with this object of beauty.

Our beauty isn't just physical. Our beauty isn't just spiritual. Our beauty is essential -- it is the essence of who we are. We can't explain it, this concept of female beauty, in the same way we can't explain God's beauty. How is God beautiful? I can't describe. But He just is. And somehow, I am learning to see that God has invested a measure of His beauty in women as well.

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Everyone is Not Out to Get You: Victim Mentalities & Pride

As it turns out, not everyone is out to get me! Or you.

I met with a friend at Wild Boar (I go here often) almost two weeks ago, and I admitted something to her that I had never told anyone else, something God had recently brought to my attention. I told her that I try to make myself the victim as soon as any conflict in a friendship arises -- if there's any chance that the person didn't mean to hurt me and I just misinterpreted it, I would rather my hurt feelings be justified than to admit that I might have been wrong. As a result, I call it quits and push the person away. And I have lost a lot of friendships because of this selfishness of mine. Am I the only one this sick and twisted?

She told me she has thought and acted similarily, that I am definitely not the only one. I was relieved. Doesn't make it any less wrong, just easier to swallow.

It's called the "victim mentality," according to this blog on How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality: 7 Powerful Tips. It's something a lot of us do. Maybe not to the extreme that I've taken it, but to some extent we want to be the victim. We want the hurt that we feel to be justified, and we would rather just be hurt than admit we were wrong, than to try to confront the problem. And we love wallowing in our hurt, seeking attention, throwing pity parties, constanty revisting the past and how people have wronged us and made us who we are today... these are all symptoms of a victim mentality.

Read the blog I mentioned, and for more depth, read this article too, called Breaking Free From a Victim Mentality. It's a tough process to break out of (I have only just begun, and I can tell you it's a hard harbit to break), but recognizing it is the first step, and letting go of your pride and humbling yourself before God and before the people involved is the hardest part. Once you can do those two things, you're just training your mind and your heart to think and feel differently -- and it's a good thing we've got a God bigger than our minds and hearts helping us!

[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes al things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

--1 Corinthians 13:5-7

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Blue Like Jazz and the Christian Genre.

I read Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz a little more than a year ago, and it has been on my list of Top 5 Favorite Books since then (among Phillip Keller's A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 and C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity).

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
 
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way. 

More than my questions about the efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oppressed, or do I just want to be known as a socially active person? I spend 95 percent of my time thinking about myself anyway. I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself.... I was the very problem that I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM!" 

I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me. 

There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. 

After a whirlwind of a process to find financial support, Blue Like Jazz has been adapted to film and will be released in theaters this Friday. I've been following the movie blog off and on, and I look forward to seeing how they adapt the semi-autobiographical book.

As the release date nears, I stumbled upon this article about the movie. "Blue Like Jazz" won't fit into your typical "Christian" movie genre -- and I am glad. Often times I am embarrassed of such movies as "Fireproof" and "Facing Giants." Don't get me wrong; they are alright movies. The message was delivered. Intentions were good. But they were cheesy, and there was no room for subtlety. As the film director, Steve Taylor, said in his blog, "good intentions trump artistry."

This has been the case for a lot of "Christian" art -- music, movies, novels. I will even admit to this in my own songwriting; sometimes it doesn't matter if the music isn't that good, as long as it preaches the Gospel. A lot of us have fallen prey to this thinking, watering down our art and, as a result, losing respect among artists, minimizing our effectiveness among both the believing and non-believing population -- and, I think, causing us to not reach the full potential of the talents God has given us. I believe God is a lover of art. Art that glorifies Him. And this kind of art doesn't have to literally scream His name or clearly lay out the Gospel for it to bring Him honor. God cannot be contained in our conservative, traditional mindsets of what Christianity looks like -- and I don't think art should be either.

As I've read reviews, I've only had a glimpse of how "Blue Like Jazz" will be portrayed as a film, and it appears to be sparking some controversy. I don't have an established opinion yet, but I wanted to bring it to attention so you could form your own (if you desire).

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